Breaking News: Local Fat Lady Can’t Believe That Car Merged in Front of Her
Manhattan Beach – Flo Thompson of Redondo Beach was left in furious hysterics this morning when Hermosa Beach resident Sonny Kipgen dared to merge in front of her car. The two’s unlikely meeting came via a detour on their regular route to work, which was shut down by police activity. “I could see that cars were merging, so I got real close to the truck in front of me to make sure no one could get in, ” Flo explained, her jowels still quivering with rage. “But when he kept rolling forward I had to stop. What a fucking asshole!”
Kipgen laughed and danced a gleeful jig when asked to recount the story. “Yeah I pulled in front of her. We were merging. God forbid one more car separate her from her destination.” When Kipgen looked into his rear view mirror he saw Thompson, “pitching a fit. Man, you would have thought that I just walked into her house and shit on her rug. It was fucking hillarious!”
“He thought it was a big joke. I could see him in his car laughing at me,” Thompson wailed. “I don’t like cars getting in front of me!”
Kipgen seemed genuinely surprised at Thomson’s reaction. “Man…all this over one car getting in front of you? What is that…like two more seconds added to your commute? Motherfuckers who don’t respect the zipper should take the bus.”
